He rescued me because He delighted in me.
-David, Psalm 18:19
This short sentence in the Word seizes me as I begin my daily prayers in the predawn stillness of my hermitage. My mind rebels at accepting it even as my spirit rejoices in its truth. How could a holy and righteous, all-present, all-knowing God delight in me? How could he who knows all my goings and my comings, the very thoughts and intents of my heart, delight in me?
Yet, I do have deep, experiential knowledge that he, in fact, reached down from on high and took hold of me; He pulled me out of the deep water (v.16), for the first of many times, on that hot, humid July night in 1978. I have no words to explain what happened that night but it was real, the most real thing I have ever experienced, and it has lasted, with varying degrees of intensity, for 38 years. Even after wrestling with it all these years and with some level of maturity in my faith it remains ineffable.
Although ineffable, it is also undeniable. That same hand that reached down and rescued me is still guiding my life to this day and into eternity. He is present with me, within me, even now. It is his Spirit that spoke to me as I prayed his Word this morning. It is his spirit that widens a place beneath me for my steps (v.36) as I wander our earth reflecting the light of his love to my fellow humans trapped in systems of spiritual darkness, poverty, and injustice.
Therefore I will praise You, Lord, among the nations;
I will sing about Your name. (v.49)
“I have accepted long since that a confession of faith is a
confession of not-knowing…Prove it, I cannot. Deserve it, I do not.”